Hot for teacher (Van Halen) (LP 4785 - 4786)

Van Halen  MCMLXXXIV (Vinyl and CD, Warner Bros. Records, 1984) ****  

Van Halen  For Unlawful Carnel Knowledge (Vinyl, Warner Bros. Records, 1991) ***  

Genre: Rock

Places I remember: Marbecks Records, Mail order Record Club.

Fab, and all the other pimply hyperboles: Right Now (For Unlawful...)

Gear costume: Panama (1984)

They loom large in his legend (The Album Collection playlists): Part 1; Part 2; Part 3; Part 4; Part 5; Part 6; Part 7; Part 8

Active compensatory factors: I have two studio albums by Van Halen - one with David Lee Roth and the other with Sammy Hagar. I really like both versions of the band. Each lead singer brings something exciting, distinctive and new to the party.

MCMLXXXIV (probably better known as 1984) was the last to feature Diamond Dave until he returned in 2012. The big songs on it are Panama, Jump and Hot for Teacher. They and the high standard on the rest make it one of the best eighties albums.

Eddie's keyboards are a feature of the album, most notably on Jump. That kick starts the album in more ways than one. The songs are built on rock riffs but with a pop leaning - hence its mega success.

Dave was replaced by Hagar and the band changed a bit to build songs around Eddie Van Halen's needs. For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge (stoopid title) was their third effort together. 

The heavy hitters on this one were Poundcake, The Dream Is Over, Right Now and Top of the World. This time the accompanying songs aren't as dynamic as those four.

Where do they all belong? I have a double CD best of that captures all the essential moments and is the best place to sample all the ban's best moments. Their best album remains 1984.

Mercy (Roy Orbison) #415

Van Halen Pretty Woman/ Happy Trails (Warner Bros, WBS 50003, 1982)

Great fun is to be had during this rendition of the Roy Orbison classic. Eddie suitably cranks up the guitar histrionics and Alex propels the whole thing forward with his trademark drums.

Just don't throw Van Halen Pretty Woman into youtube and watch the terrible version from 2012 as I did. Yes I hyperlinked it - let's face it - if we're told NOT to push that button Ringo, we're gunna. It's terrible! I warned you.

I still like this original take though.

Hidden gem: The very bizarre rendition of Happy Trails is best described as a piss take and not a very successful one at that.

The video for Pretty Woman was originally banned by MTV for its content (midgets beating up a pretty 'woman') but really it should have been for stupidity, crassness and crapness. Don't watch it! (See above).

Instead I've added Roy's superior original and the studio version from VH. You be the judge!