I try and play it cool (Vertical Hold) #417-421

Vertical Hold My Imagination/ Baby You Send Me (RCA, 103888, 1981)
Vertical Hold Tears Of Emotion/ In Your Life (WEA, 100226, 1982)
Vertical Hold This Must Be Love/ She Comes To Me (WEA, 7-259630, 1983)
Vertical Hold United States Of America/ Teacher Teach Me (WEA, 7-259475, 1983)
Vertical Hold Shot Down (In Love)/ Nite Bite (WEA, 7-259786, 1983)

These are obscure, I grant you. Without being a friend to the drummer, Noel Forth, I never would have found these Australian gems.

Noel started writing to me in the late seventies from Adelaide after discovering that I was a fellow rabid Beatle fan. 

At that time he was in a band called Tortis (see what they did there) with two guys Jim Mountzouris and Mick Michalopoulos. They were terrific - Noel sent me heaps of their rehearsal tapes and I grooved on their Beatle, ELO influenced sounds for a few years.

With the eighties came a name change to Vertical Hold and an album (called Vertical Hold). Because it was the eighties synths and a cello player were added to the trio. Not so sure about the synths guys, even now.

Jim and Mick continued to do all the writing and they have a set of great pop ears. Luckily, some Tortis favs made it onto the Vertical Hold set list.

The picks from this bunch of singles (apart from the first one, all tracks are from the parent album): This Must Be Love with a Caribbean jaunty vibe going on; Tears Of Emotion should have been a worldwide hit single (went to #3 in Adelaide); USA is a Tortis era song with a new punchy arrangement (I still love those early versions as well).

Hidden gems: Baby You Send Me is a great lost Police song - terrific pop in other words; She Comes To Me and Teacher Teach Me are dripping in hooks - probably the catchiest songs on these singles; In You Life is a psychedelic mix of sixties Troggs and seventies ELO - wow baby! Perfect B sides!

Everyone avoids me like a psyched lone ranger (The Vapors) #416

The Vapors Turning Japanese/ Here Comes The Judge (live) (United Artists, UA 9, 1980)

Another one hit wonder, The Vapors took this to the top 10 in New Zealand. Urban myth suggests it's a song about masturbation, whatever - it's a very catchy tune with a quasi oriental vibe going on with the guitar lick.

I remain an unrepentant fan of power pop songs like this.

A UK band from Surrey, The Vapors' (using an American spelling to make it appear they were from the US) legacy is this single and two albums before calling it a day in 1982.

Hidden gem: The B side is an okay bit of fun but pales significantly compared to the A side.

Mercy (Roy Orbison) #415

Van Halen Pretty Woman/ Happy Trails (Warner Bros, WBS 50003, 1982)

Great fun is to be had during this rendition of the Roy Orbison classic. Eddie suitably cranks up the guitar histrionics and Alex propels the whole thing forward with his trademark drums.

Just don't throw Van Halen Pretty Woman into youtube and watch the terrible version from 2012 as I did. Yes I hyperlinked it - let's face it - if we're told NOT to push that button Ringo, we're gunna. It's terrible! I warned you.

I still like this original take though.

Hidden gem: The very bizarre rendition of Happy Trails is best described as a piss take and not a very successful one at that.

The video for Pretty Woman was originally banned by MTV for its content (midgets beating up a pretty 'woman') but really it should have been for stupidity, crassness and crapness. Don't watch it! (See above).

Instead I've added Roy's superior original and the studio version from VH. You be the judge!

How can I tell you it wouldn't be the same? (Lon and Derrek Van Eaton) #414

Lon & Derrek Van Eaton Warm Woman/ More Than Words (Apple Records, APPLE 46, 1972)

These American brothers were signed by George Harrison and recorded one album for Apple Records (Brother).

Although George believed in the brothers and thought they would be huge, in reality the boys produced a pleasantly innocuous record much like later Dark Horse recordings by Jiva, Attitudes and Splinter that George would be involved in.

Few bought this single (a second track, Sweet Music, from Brothers was also released as a single with the same effect) and it's not hard to see why.

This music was so NOT what was happening on the charts in 1972 it's laughable.

Hidden gem: Well that may be stretching it but the B side is a better bet than the dirge like A side. I can hear why George liked it - it sounds like him!

I was lost I am found (U2) #412 - 413

U2 Gloria/ I Will Follow (Island, K 8510, 1981)

U2 The Three Sunrises; The Unforgettable Fire/ A Sort Of Homecoming; Love Comes Tumbling; Bass Trap (Island 12", L  20046, 1985)

Gloria was my first taste of U2. Specifically it was the video which established my interest and it still looks great: written and directed by Meiert Avis, it was filmed in October 1981 on a barge in Grand Canal Basin in Dublin near Windmill Lane.

The intangible heroic nature of the song was a hook but so were the charismatic lead singer and the enigmatic guitarist (cool pants Edge), and that barge was a genius idea. 

Straight away, I, of course, went out and bought the single (and then the October album).

To me, the song has an 'intangible' nature because I'm never sure whether Bono is talking about his love of a woman called Gloria, or exalting in God, or both at the same time (which is weird).

Weirdly also, it was a big hit in New Zealand (made the top 20) and Ireland only. We had good taste back in the day!

The 12 inch maxi single is an oddity. The Unforgettable Fire is the key track: the 12" is an expanded version of the single which had the live version of A Sort Of Homecoming on the B side. 

It's kind of a strange choice for a single. Much better suited to its place on the parent album.

Hidden gem: The live take of I Will Follow was recorded in Boston. It's inclusion on the B side did its job for me - after October I bought the debut album.

The 12" has a groovy live version of A Sort Of Homecoming - one of my favourite U2 tracks from the eighties period. It builds into a great euphoric anthem as only early U2 could do.

Love Come Tumbling is quite muted and all the better for it (the bombastic gets a bit much sometimes) and the instrumental Bass Trap continues the understated vibe nicely. It's even 'tasteful' (shock horror).

A holiday's complete (UK Squeeze) #411

UK Squeeze Pulling Mussels (From The Shell)/ What The Butler Saw (A&M, K7920, 1980)

On red vinyl too! Wahoo!

It rather sums up the infectious fun to be had here.

Weirdly, I'm not actually a huge fan of the band overall and I'm not sure why. 

In Tilbrook and Difford we had the eighties Lennon and McCartney; the musicianship was uniformly excellent: it was FUN (Jools Holland on keys was hilarious!) and the very Englishness of the band made the band cool for cats.

However, this is the only song of theirs that I own on vinyl. But wow - what a great song!

The word play is terrific - although I have no idea what's going on really aside from its picaresque Butlins holiday camp scenario - it sounds great!

But what the heck fire is 'And I feel like William Tell, Maid Marian on her tiptoed feet' all about? He feels like William Tell AND Maid Marian??????

Hidden gem: Not in this case - the B side doesn't move me.

Every word so finely placed (Judie Tzuke) #410

Judie Tzuke Stay With Me Till Dawn/ New Friends Again (The Rocket Record Company, 6079 675, 1979)

Judie is still going strong - still performing and still releasing albums, but this is the song she will be forever known for, therefore, she joins the ranks of one hit wonders.

Nothing takes away from the fact that it's a great song. She co-wrote it and sings it wonderfully. Somehow, it has that certain something that allows it to connect to a wider audience.

Let's call it 'vibe'. There's a real wistful feel to her delivery and that middle section with the strings lifts the song into the stratosphere.

She's done plenty of singles since but nothing has fired up the collective imagination like Stay With Me Till Dawn.

Hidden gem: The B side is so so. The money shot was the A side.